


The Hex Files

by Nixariel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The X-Files
Genre: Gen, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Road Trip!, reference to canon character losses, the war is over, time to pick up the pieces, uncomfortable friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 13:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4878073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nixariel/pseuds/Nixariel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Voldemort is gone. She's no longer a fugitive. So what now for the brightest witch of her age?</p>
<p>Clearly, an extended road trip with the one person who can drive Hermione to utter incoherency is the best possible answer. </p>
<p>...Why is she friends with these people again?</p>
<p>(Wherein Hermione is Scully, Luna is... Luna, and Ron is an excellent boyfriend. Harry, on the other hand? Terrible human being.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hex Files

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of the emotional after-effects of war. Mentions of Hermione's parents, and the consent issues there. Mentions of Weasley grief. If any of this is triggering, please don't read.
> 
> Based on prompt and artwork [here](http://punkscully.tumblr.com/post/125651554601/have-you-ever-thought-about-a-hp-au-where-luna)  
> Originally posted on tumblr [here](http://nixariel.tumblr.com/post/125919967695/have-you-ever-thought-about-a-hp-au-where-luna)  
> 

At first Hermione only thinks about going along with it because  _someone_ has to save Luna from herself. (Harry might’ve given her the big sad green eyes too, the git. His adoring girlfriend just laughed when Hermione complained about it over drinks that evening. Well. At least Ginny also laughs at  _him_ when Harry tries to pull the same trick on her.)

Then Ron catches wind of the offer. He thinks it’s brilliant. _You always wanted to do a big road trip_ , he reminds her. _To see the world and not just read about it_.

_Go_ , he says.

_I’ll wait for you_.

And she does - want to. The war had been hard on everybody, even in its ending. Her parents…

They’re not dead, Hermione tells herself fiercely. They’re just not her parents right now. Once the last few die-hard Death Eaters are caught, it will be safe to brew the counterpotion.

(How else could she have protected them? Curses and Dark Lords and creatures out of myth - her ordinary middle-aged dentist parents wouldn’t have stood a chance. There was _no other way_ ; they’ll understand.)

It’ll be like it never happened.

But still, _Luna_? They were friends now, of course, but that didn’t erase the occasional urge to shake the blonde like a pound-store snowglobe. Seeing bloody Crumple-Horned Snorkacks every bloody— Exactly when did it become a good idea to put the two of them alone together in a small enclosed space capable of achieving high velocities?!

She’d go with Ron - she’d _like_ to go with Ron - but he says he should stay close to home for a little while longer. The Weasleys need to be a family right now.

That’s another reason to go. Hermione doesn’t need the re— doesn’t need to intrude on their still-healing grief.

And yet she dithers.

(It’s not like her to be so indecisive, she knows. But in this strange new world where Voldemort is gone, she’s an eighteen-year-old school drop-out, and the future suddenly extends beyond next week, what is “like her”?)

Until Ron - steady, anchor-true Ron - gives up on leaving maps in all of her favourite books and packs her a bag.

“Right,” he says cheerfully, as he steers her towards the door of the Burrow. “You’ve got enough in there for at least two weeks, three if you don’t get all girly over underwear. Pig can find you just about anywhere and I can find you through him.” Outside, a car was haphazardly parked just off the road on the side closest to them. Luna stood in front of it, dreamily staring into the sky. Ron slings the duffel into the boot and kisses Hermione firmly before handing her a package of sandwiches. She takes them with a kind of blank acceptance, the same way she took Ron throwing her things into a bag in the first place and escorting her from her room.

“These are snacks, they are important. Mum says it’s best to finish them up within the week.”

He gently tucks a wayward lock of hair back behind her ear. Hermione blinks up at him.

“Have fun, ‘Mione.” The soft words hold more meaning than they should.

He kisses her one last time, slower and more thoroughly, then heads back inside with a jaunty wave to their former schoolmate.

She is left there. Alone.

With Luna Lovegood.

Who has rejoined the rest of the world, judging by the way her eyes were suddenly in focus again.

“Hello, Hermione. It’s nice to see you again,” the other woman chirps.

“It’s… nice to see you too, Luna.” A lukewarm greeting at best, but it doesn’t seem to faze Luna.

Although - had anything fazed Luna? Ever?

“Reports are coming in about a terrible outbreak of Blibbering Humdingers in Bath. Shall we investigate?”

Blibbering Humdingers? Clearly just a badly cast Caterwauling Charm.

Hermione has only one thing to say: “I’m driving.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't plan to add to this, it was just a plot-bunny I had to write, but I'm fine with others riffing on it. 
> 
> The general outline I had was:  
> \- odd couple shenanigans  
> \- Ron shows up every so often for date nights, laundry service, and general supportive boyfriending  
> \- Hermione deals with a) living through a war, b) making herself a (not-permanent) orphan, c) making life-altering decisions for her parents without their consent, and d) what is she going to do now that she’s helped defeat one of the biggest bads ever but doesn’t even have her high school diploma-equivalent?  
> \- Luna and Hermione debate belief versus evidence in the grand old style of Mulder and Scully, _sans_ UST (or not - however you want to play it)
> 
> Let me know if you continue it! I'd love to post the link.


End file.
